How the Avengers can teach us that authentic love binds families together

“Did she have any family?”

“Yeah…us”

It’s a solemn, deadening moment in Avengers: Endgame. The entire Marvel film franchise represents a significant following in pop culture. It’s evocative of past pop culture influences. More importantly, it’s a commentary on modern social activity. In this sequence following the loss of a dear companion, we are given a representation of what family means. With the influx in disjointed family units over the past few decades, particularly in the U.S., Hollywood entertainment has broadened the scope under which family may be interpreted.

With many children growing up in the absence of one of their parents, many movies geared toward a juvenile audience have begun to depict family as a readily attainable goal. These films try to show how families can be formed of people who are not blood relatives from varying backgrounds and viewpoints. Such representations of family bonds may be seen in countless features like Penguins of Madagascar or the Ice Age and Spy Kids sagas. In Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Rey is simply trying to discover the identity of her parents; the search for a family is underway. These are just a few examples.

The growing quantity of broken families, especially those missing parental figures, as well as the surplus of orphaned children are an outward sign of something being wrong in our society. In the simplest terms, the cause is a decline in upholding virtues. Temperance, patience, diligence, and authentic love have been sorely neglected. If spouses and parents were more willing to practice virtues such as these, then most families would be able to remain whole and be in peace.

Nevertheless, the dysfunction and void in countless family situations have affected the culture at large. A well-rounded, loving family unit overflowing with healthy courtship, courtesy, comfort, and common concern is something which so many in today’s society thirst for. The substitute for this family relationship is found in honorable parental figures and righteous friendships. These are those relations which make up what may secularly be known as the “human family,” which is, in truth, the Mystical Body of Christ. These companions are our brothers and sisters in Christ.

It is in a similar sense that soldiers view their buddies with fraternal fondness. And this is who the Avengers are: soldiers. A warrior of Norse legend, a blue humanoid killing machine, a Russian assassin, a super soldier from World War II, a military veteran in an ironclad suit, all of them: they are soldiers, some of Earth’s best. An important dimension of these characters is that each is distinctively and irrevocably human – at least in terms of intellect and will power, though perhaps not all are represented as physically human. What matters is that their characters are authentic. They have emotions, fears, opinions, strengths, weaknesses, obstacles to confront. When one of their own, one of their closest companions goes down, it hurts. It affects them all. It is an obstacle they all share in trying to overcome, just as they share a common enemy.

This sense of community, of family, among the Avengers is seen most poignantly much later in the film near the end. It’s at a funeral for another fallen member of their clan. A gathering of practically the entire MCU family has amassed to pay its respects in light of the exit of a hero who finally made the ultimate sacrifice. He laid down his life for his newfound family and his friends. One of the top figures of the MCU, who has been plastered throughout the timeline as a hero, finally learns to let go of his ego. With the snap of his fingers, it drops. He has suddenly made the biggest self-sacrificial decision of his life. “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). Thus, he becomes the authentic hero.

This hero who finds his calling fulfilled in personal sacrifice is also the head of one of the most beautiful and genuine families seen in the MCU. A trinity of persons under a single title, this family is comprised of husband, wife, and child – much like the Holy Family itself. This family of heroes is almost perfect in its model of every member and his or her roles.

Amid the worries and constant struggles of life, the husband persists in spending quality time with his spouse. To his family, he is both teacher and guardian. He even helps out around the house – in between saving Earth, the universe, and that sort of thing. His wife, queen of the home, thoroughly knows her husband. Both spouses are open with one another, and the wife consoles her husband, offering him charitable advice. The parents love their child and want to nurture a relationship with her. Their daughter has thus learned love from her parents and returns what she has been exposed to in the examples of her mother and father. She responds with love.

In simplicity, the lyrics from the Beatles’ song “The End” make this observation of charity. As the song goes, “…in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” Anger and disgruntled tiffs do not end peaceably. Love is the cure to relational strife. This was the message of Christ: love. In the very words of our Lord, we are instructed to “love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments” (from Matthew 22: 37-40).

The New Testament resounds with one grand theme, and it is the music of love. Jesus, the Apostles, and so many iconic Christians of the early Church of Rome strike these melodious chords and live by them. In the early Church, we see how the community was family: a family of families, rich in charity and self-sacrifice. It is true love, the kind which Christ shows, the kind which a real hero shows, that is needed by every member of the family. As the family serves as the cornerstone of society, so love is the rock on which family is meant to be soundly built.